Story by Scott Jones
My first ETSPJ party began civil enough. A superb Mediterranean dinner, great conversation, a glass or two of white wine.
Then came a game of Dirty Santa.
Don’t know the rules to the game? Neither did I. Luckily I was surrounded by Dirty Santa veterans, normally moral people who quickly abandoned a lifetime of principle for knickknacks worth $20 or less.
Old friends became new enemies. Plans were hatched.
Relationships forged over years were immediately severed for the sake of a Kiss (as in the band) Christmas tree ornament. While backs were stabbed over New York Times crossword calendars and hedgehog clasp purses, it was the Kiss ornament, smothered under a handful of Hershey’s Kisses, that broke the camel’s back.
Despite being safely in the chapter president’s grasp, the coveted Kiss ornament was stolen in the final moments by a certain sick individual. And thus in the season of giving, the season of taking prevailed.